Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
