Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
