I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
