i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she told me i tasted like america
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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