Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
bring money and cleavage
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
