Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize