I would go down on you faster than GM stock
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
