are you so shy because you have an std?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
