I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
