i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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