This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
