RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
