Man, jail baloney is awful.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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