she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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