Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
