Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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