party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
