Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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