My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
