I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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