i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
