I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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