Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you inspire me to be a worse person
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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