He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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