Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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