I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
