Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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