Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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