Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
