Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
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