should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
