I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
