I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
