Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
