thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
