dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
