everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
