i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize