no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
