So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
