this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
