There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I can't turn off my feet"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize