This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
