Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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