And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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