"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
