The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
