I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
