We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize