I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
