I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
