He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
