Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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