Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
