saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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