physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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