Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
