I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
