Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
