I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
