Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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