I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
