I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
