ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
