Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
