Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
