Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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