Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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