There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
